An Unparalleled Practice Experience in Equanimity

My meditation teacher and friend from Seattle, Ven. Dhammadinna, quite eloquently used those words to describe Delhi. These past 24 hours have been as well.

In short: I had a lot of bureaucratic run-around and got stuck in Bangalore for an extra day. In long...

6pm last night: arrive in Bangalore airport from Trivandrum, ready to head to Bangkok. My flight doesn't leave until 1:30am, but it's not enough time to go anywhere, and I'm tired.
7pm: eat a terrible Cafe Coffee Day sandwich, as it's the only thing to eat in the limbo before checkin.
10:30pm: check-in opens for my flight. I have 3 hours; what could go wrong?
10:35pm: get to immigration. I survey the 12 officers; who looks friendly? I pick the wrong one.
10:36pm: "...sir, I think you will not be flying today."

Let me explain. Remember my lengthy rant about trying to figure out the ins and outs of the "two month rule"? After literally two days online, the best I could figure is: you're not allowed to re-enter within two months of leaving, unless you get a re-entry stamp from an embassy in the country you're visiting in between (Nepal in my case). You can get that stamp if there's an emergency OR if you're just touristing in neighboring countries. The stamp says "visitor must register at the Foreigner's Regional Registration Office (FRRO) within 14 days of re-entering the country." So I tried to do so in Darjeeling, but the guy there said "you only have to register if you're staying in the same place; since you're touristing around, no need." I pushed him a bit, but he wouldn't register me. So I figured, that sounds reasonable; the registration is probably for the "emergency" case and not the "tourist" case. Heck, I don't know if I even needed the stamp from Nepal. And what can they do? I'm already back in the country. I put it out of my mind until... now.

10:38pm: he sends me to the officer at the end of the line. That officer confirms, yep, see, you didn't register, and the stamp says "you must register." I explain that I tried, but there is no reasoning with him. He tells me to wait over there.
11:30pm?: a couple times, different guys explain the same thing to me. I try all the reasonable arguments: "I tried to register", "but I just need to leave the country", "please isn't there anything you can do, I have to meet some people", and "look at me I'm pitiful". I don't know what has even a remote chance of working; obviously none of these.
11:40pm: officer #2 gives me the address of the FRRO and says "you just go there tomorrow, get the stamp, no problem." Yes problem! Goddamn...
12am: From just outside the airport, I try to contact someone at Bangkok Airways to change my flight before it takes off. Of course, they fly one flight a day from Bangalore, so there's no counter, so I have to call on the phone. Both their local office in Bangalore and their office in Bangkok are closed, of course.
12:30am: A kind Bangkok Airways representative is helping me. He asks where I'll stay. "I don't know! I'll go hunting for a hotel at midnight?" He points me to the hotel-reservations counter. I take a place as close as possible to the FRRO; it's still 5km away and costs $20. I don't have much choice.
12:35am: I take a cab to the city. Again, not much choice. It's the absurd-for-India price of $15.
1:30am: Arrive at the Hotel T.A.P. Silver Square. At least it's clean. Ignore the garbage on the stairs and the nightclub one floor below. For once, I thank God for the 11:30pm city-wide closing time.

6:30am: Wake up, snooze my alarm, then finally roll out of bed and catch a tuk-tuk. tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk. It is important that I...
7:30am: Get to the FRRO before it opens at 9am. I am the first one there. I start reading Game of Thrones on my Kindle.
8am: A couple early birds show up.
9am: The FRRO is ready for business. I get a form and a number. My number is 001. So that means I'll be out of here quickly, right?
9:15am: I talk to a fellow at the Scrutiny Desk (yes) and find out that my required documents are mostly just passport copies (easy) and proof of where I'm staying. So... my hotel. For some reason, they need proof that I am staying at my hotel for one night. And this proof comes in the form of a letter, on hotel letterhead, stating my name, passport number, and duration of stay, with the hotel manager's signature and (I kid you not) official seal. I head for the hotel to get this thing.

tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk. (I usually only take tuk-tuks when I'm in a hurry. I took a lot of tuk-tuks today.)

9:45am: Ask my hotel guy for a letter on letterhead. His printer is broken, and he has no letterhead. The other hotel owned by the T.A.P. group has letterhead, but it is 5 traffic-choked kilometers away. He does have an official seal, though! I decide to type up a thing, have him sign and seal it, and plead that official letterhead was "not possible."
10:00am: Find out that the only internet cafe around opens at 10:30. This city runs late.
10:30am: Show up there. It's some fancy-pants Reliance rent-an-office deal and the least money I can pay to type for 5 minutes and print is 225 rupees. Whatever! Okay! Please, my wallet is too heavy! Also, their computers are terrible. Well, at least I have 4 whole hours of internet. I type a thing and print. I type some other letters too ("dear FRRO, I would like to request blah blah, here is my itinerary") just in case.

tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk

11:00am: I hand the guy at the Scrutiny Desk (indeed) a stack of documents. As he paws through them, I realize I never went back to the hotel to get the manager to sign/seal that letter. It ends "Signed, (blank)". Oh god. I just bluff my way through; somehow, in about a half hour of scrutiny, he never notices or cares.
11:30am: "You go upstairs." Woo- level up!
11:31am: I go to Desk 5 and am told, no, go to the IO/ISH desk. Okay. There is a brief interlude when a lady distributes Happy New Year cake to the workers.
11:40am: IO/ISH Lady scribbles something.
11:45am: Desk 5 Guy scribbles something.
11:50am: "You go to the bank, ask for a DD. Demand Drop." What? "Demand Drop." I get the sense it's a money order. I also get the sense that I have to pay 1395 rupees ($28), y'know, because I was late registering. Because of Darjeeling FRRO guy. This is why you build money cushion into your travel budget!
12:00pm: I find a Bank of Baroda. They give me a form for a Demand Draft. (oh.) The cost, including DD charge, is 1505. Ah, but they cannot debit the money from my account, I need cash. I have very little cash, because I thought I was leaving the country. I go to use their ATM; it is broken.
12:10pm: Find another bank. Withdraw 3000 rupees. Realize that they might balk if I give them 2000 for a 1505 bill, so I look for a way to get 5 rupees change. Spy a coconut guy.
12:20pm: One delicious coconut later, coconut guy has no change. I marvel at the fact that, in the critical path to get my FRRO registration and thus to leave the country, I am trying to find change to pay the coconut guy. If you give a mouse a visa... Luckily, a nearby guy has change.
12:30pm: Get the DD. I recall that Desk 5 Guy also said I should get a xerox of the DD. Why? Was it just for my records? Well, I'll try anyway. At the first xerox shop, the guy is out, and they don't have xeroxes anyway. I get it at the second shop.
1:00pm: Desk 5 Guy sends me to Desk 2 Guy to hand him the DD. Desk 2 Guy gives me a receipt and sends me to "the desk that way." Up more stairs? Nope, the people upstairs are confused about why I'm there. I ask Desk 2 Guy again, and he says Desk 5. Well, why didn't you say so? Desk 5 Guy asks for the xerox, which I hand him, and breathe a sigh of relief that I got it. And then: "You come back, 3 o'clock." That is a good sign!
1:10pm: Eat a biryani at Kebab Palace, let slip a sigh of relief, and figure I better get on to my next task: rebooking my flight. I call Bangkok Airways. Prakash and I are having communication issues, so he invites me to just go there in person. It's near MG road, so near my hotel, but far from the FRRO.

tuk tuk tuk tuk oh shit

1:15pm: Realize I left my bag, including a few probably-inessential documents and my Kindle case. My Kindle case contains two months' worth of bottle caps and ticket stubs, and my Kindle. Not the end of the world, but ... damn! We're almost at Bangkok Airways, so I just figure I'll get it later. Now there are three major things I'm worried about.
1:30pm: Prakash at Bangkok Airways is friendly, but can't rebook me, and can only refund $80 of my $240 ticket. This is because it was for yesterday, and I just didn't show up. But but but I was trying to call, and I only just had this visa issue, and and ... to quote They Might Be Giants, "Lose, sucka! Lose again!" I would be slumping back to the FRRO, but I'm still panicking about my Kindle, so instead I high-tail it to Kebab Palace.

tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk

2:00pm: They've got my Kindle! Yes yes yes hooray thank you thank you. I don't know how to thank people a lot in a short time, or I would do so.
2:15pm: Kill time by looking up ticket-to-Bangkok prices. There is really only one flight to take, and I guess it will cost me $180. What can I do? I dawdle and don't book anything, because I'll just book after I get my FRRO stamp, just to make sure.
2:50pm: I am so excited, like a kid on Christmas, I can't wait, so I go back to Desk 5 Guy at the FRRO. He has me sign a paper, writes something in my passport, and I am done! Sweet sweet victory, and in under 8 hours too.
3:10pm: Back at an internet cafe, I find that my $180 ticket has jumped to $250. What! In those 20 minutes! There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. I figure I'll call Prakash, maybe there is something he can do. He's busy but he says he'll call me back.
3:30pm: Is there ever something he can do! I thought my ears deceived me as he said "It will be just 1500 rupees." ($30) I guess he found some loophole because it was a one-way ticket or something? Whatever, I am not asking questions. I am motoring it over to Prakash's office.

tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk (I am getting good at this by now. All the tuk-tuks have meters, but they'll actually pull the "meter is broken" nonsense and ask you to pay a higher fixed price. If they do that, just walk away instantly. They'll track you down and magically their meter will be working. Also, grab the guys driving down the street, not the ones waiting; they'll usually just give you the meter fare. The waiting guys will try to get meter + 20 or worse.)

4:14pm: Cosmic shout-out of thanks to Prakash for working this out. Ticket, FRRO paper, and Kindle in hand, I am a happy man.
4:30pm: I go back to my portable office to handle some other future airline ticket bookings. My credit cards are declined, and my frequent flyer booking has an unspecified error. Lose again!
6-8pm: finally shower, take a nap.
8:30pm: head to the airport.

tuk tuk tuk tuk bus bus bus bus

10:30pm: boarding pass in hand, I approach the immigration desk with some trepidation. A kindly older fellow inspects my passport. I explain how I went to Nepal and Bhutan for three weeks in November. He points to my FRRO registration and even the re-entry stamp from Nepal and says, as the camera zooms in for the punchline, again I kid you not:
"You were just visiting Nepal and Bhutan? Then this was not necessary!"

It is the full southernmost point only

Ram, Nicole, and I spent a couple days in Kanyakumari, the very tip of India. There's not a lot to do besides look at the sea, but we gladly did that. I guess you could also buy some cheap junk. You could get sick and spend a day in bed (Ram did that). You could go to the Swami Vivekananda memorial rock or watch a magic show, but we just missed the timings to do both. Nevertheless, we enjoyed looking at the sea, reading some books, and nomming awesome-as-usual food.

This is so far south. Can you tell how far south it is?

One of these people is really cool.

And then New Year's happened, so we watched fireworks on the roof. That was nice.

Practical tips: we stayed at Hotel Krishna for Rs1000 for a 3-bed room, the cheapest option we could find. It's about 3 hours from Trivandrum by bus (direct or change in Nagercoil) or train.

Trivandrum is hot but reasonable

Right, so Trivandrum, or Thiruvananthapuram, the biggest city in Kerala. It is pretty clean and reasonable. There were some things to do, so we did them:

a zoo (you can tell it's an owl because it has a face like a dosa)

The famous Sri Padmanabhaswamy Temple. This recently became the richest temple in the world, after they discovered secret underground rooms full of treasure a few months ago. We non-Hindus were not allowed in.

Also, a planetarium, a couple art museums, milkshakes named after Arabian cities, and movies. We saw Shahrukh Khan in and as "Don 2". It was exactly what we expected and hoped.

This may not sound particularly exciting, but Trivandrum has been the first city that's big enough to have these sorts of things to do, but not all full of people trying to take tourists' money. Besides trying to walk down the street (difficult anywhere in India), there has been a remarkably low amount of hassle. You might say the hassle has been very less.

Here is how reasonable Trivandrum is. I wanted to get a lightweight short-sleeved shirt for all the hot weather I'll be traveling through. I went to a Khadi (woven cotton) shop and found one on the rack. The salesman helped me find the right color and size. The prices were fixed, no haggling, and the shop had a 30% sale on everything. I wore it out of the shop, immediately ripped it on a trash can, then got it fixed by a kind tailor, who wouldn't even let me pay him.

On a train, wearing my new shirt. (The guys next to me were playing with my phone.)

I'll deal with all the perils of modernization (megamalls! Brahminization of tribal religions! face-whitening commercials!) later, and just say for now that Trivandrum was pretty nice.

Let's talk about Kerala food.

In Kerala there is some food that is popular throughout all of South India, and there is some food that is unique to Kerala.

For breakfast throughout South India, you can have:

• Dosa. This might be the most popular thing. It is like a big crepe made of rice and lentil flour. One common type of dosa is "Masala Dosa". This is a dosa filled with a spicy vegetable-potato mix. Sometimes it's a flat triangle shape, and sometimes it looks like a giant burrito.
• Dosa variation #1: Rava Dosa. This is made with wheat flour. It's not quite so flat.
• Dosa variation #2: Paper Dosa. This is made with rice and lentil flour again, but it is very flat and therefore huge in diameter. If you were a small child, and very hungry, you might conceivably eat a dosa that is bigger than you.
• Dosa variation #3: Butter Dosa. Also known as "ghee roast" (which sounds awful), this is just a plain dosa with butter. Surprisingly, it doesn't taste super greasy.
• Idli. This is a steamed cake made of rice and lentil flour. The consistency is like a birthday cake but chewier. You usually get two or three of them.
• Vada. This is a fried savory doughnut made of rice and lentil flour. You usually get one or two, with something else. Idli and vada is a good choice.
• Uttapam. This is a big pancakey thing made of (surprise) rice and lentil flour. It's often mixed with vegetables or onions. Kind of reminds me of Japanese okonomiyaki, which is a great food.

All of the above are served with sambar (a spicy soup) and coconut chutney. You use your bready thing of choice to soak up the sambar and chutney.

For breakfast in Kerala, you can also have:

• Appam. This is kind of a catch-all term for foods made with plain rice flour. If you order just "appam", though, you'll usually get a sort of pancakey thing that is thin and light, maybe with a fluffy chewy center. Often served with coconut milk and vegetable stew.
• Idiappam. This is rice noodles made into a cake, and served like appam. Often served with "Tengapa", or coconut milk.

That is a lot of breakfast choices, isn't it? South Indian breakfast is the best. You can eat these things for other meals too.

For lunch, you can have a thali, also just called a "meal". You sit down, they bring you a big banana leaf, scoop a mountain of rice on it, and serve about 9 different things with it. Some of the ones I've had are:

• sambar. You will probably get a lot of sambar; it's kind of the main thing you put on your rice.
• dal (lentils)
• rasam. This is a very thin spicy tangy soupy thing. It's often served after sambar. First you have rice and sambar, then rice and rasam. It is just like that only.
• curd (yogurt), or a thin curd-based sauce
• beans
• vegetables
• a mix of chopped coconut and stuff
• Indian pickled something
• papadum (a crispy cracker)
• payasam, a sweet rice pudding like kheer

Other things you can eat for lunch or dinner:

• Kothukozhi (the zh is pronounced like an r), a chicken dish in a thick dark sauce.
• Fish masala or fish curry. I'd heard the fish was supposed to be awesome here, but it's not been particularly special. Perhaps I am spoiled after Bengal.
• Porotta, which is kind of like Paratha, but less oily and more layered and therefore strictly better.
• Biriyani, rice and things.

Most restaurants are about the same. This is a good thing; they're all great.

Maybe I should only travel goal-oriented

An interesting internet person I follow named Josh Whiton wrote a short bit about travel. He talks about his friend who loves to travel anywhere, just because it's new, while Josh likes to travel with a goal. It's a personality difference; she cares about new experiences and relationships, while he cares more about progressing towards goals.

"This doesn't mean getting in and out, all business no play, without stopping to take it all in, mix with locals, or let some current of life sweep him away. But it does mean all that happens against a backdrop of some mission, even if it changes along the way."

This resonates with me. Maybe I'm just not wired to enjoy anything just because it's new. (food is an exception.) I've thought it was a bit neurotic, like I can't "switch off" and relax, but maybe it's just a thing I need to learn to work with, and I ought to orient my travels, short and long, around certain goals.

Merry Christmas, and an update from Kerala

After Bangalore, I took my last overnight bus in India to Kochi, Kerala, to meet up with Ram and Nicole. Kerala is a skinny little state on the southwest coast of India. It feels kind of like Florida. There are some Dutch and Portuguese influences due to trade and colonization.

Dead Dutch people

Kerala food has lots of coconuts, which is great. Kerala is a pretty well-developed state, the most literate in India, the most English-speaking, and about evenly split between Hindus, Muslims, and Christians.

Christmas-decorated traffic circle

We saw some big Chinese fishing nets that work using physics:

We spent Christmas Eve at midnight at the cathedral. Then, for Christmas, we went to a Jain temple. There was a square with some pigeons. You could feed them. That was fun.

Then on Boxing Day, to finish off our Christmas experience, we also went to a synagogue, one of about three in all of India. The synagogue is in Jew Town. Which street is it on? Jew Street.

Now we're in Trivandrum, or Thiruvananthapuram if you prefer. We'll be here for about 4 days total. It seems like quite the modern city. But more about Trivandrum later.

This is my last week in India. I can't say I'm particularly glad or particularly upset. I can say that I'm having fun traveling this week, largely because Ram and Nicole are great fun to travel with.

I got it figured out, I got it figured out

"When a person says, in a foreign place, "I feel right at home here," he is making a statement about the nature of travel, not in the texture of the place he is in. I don't belittle this sort of travel, which I regard as Traveling As A Version Of Being At Home; but it is wrong to mistake it as the sort of travel that allows a person to make discoveries." - Paul Theroux

So travel may be a journey to "find a city, find myself a city to live in." I think a year ago I was bullish on this prospect; I thought there might be oases of urban prosperity like Seattle the whole world around. I pictured myself hunkering down in, I dunno, Amritsar, and trying to make some work as if I were at home. Hang out in 10 different homes over 10 months, make myself an insider in 10 different places, and thus broaden my life while keeping some depth.

Now I'm not so sure! I think there are a couple cities in India I could live in, and only with some stress. Dharamsala comes to mind first, Darjeeling second, and Bangalore third. The first two are romantic pipe dreams where I awaken to mountain vistas and Buddhist chants, churn out some code for a few hours, eat a delicious meal or three, and occasionally go for a hike. But I already get cranky when I can't work well; daily internet/power/water cuts, lack of computer parts within twelve hours' drive, and the slow Indian pace of life would drive me nuts. And let's not kid ourselves; there's not a big market for computer scientists in Dharamsala.

As another option, I could head for a tech hub like Bangalore. That'd bring a big IT job market and infrastructure, but I'd have to accept all the soul crushing of the Silicon Valley tech world times twelve. Suburban office megaplexes, huge commutes, and no walkability make Dan a dull boy.

We haven't even mentioned monsoons or cockroaches! I think India is not a place I want to live in.

Not the ultimate point of my trip (travel is about changing yourself in reaction to places, not molding places to fit you or discarding them otherwise), but nice to know.